Designs of Desire Page 6

  With a hard sigh, Seth thought a moment before he pulled out his cell and gestured the officers inside. Twenty minutes later, Mel, his best friend since college and lawyer extraordinaire, sauntered in the door, just as James emerged from his room, dressed and mostly awake.

  Chapter 5

  JAMES sat at his kitchen table, unpacked his new silver ring splints, and fitted them onto his fingers and right thumb. He knew it drove Seth and Mel both crazy, but he needed to focus on something other than the questions that had come up thanks to the officers’ visit. He knew they were trying to help, but reliving the horror his life had descended into off and on since he’d met Victor in college was not something he wished to do. To discuss any of that with Seth terrified him. So there he sat, adjusting his new rings as Seth and Mel paced and glowered.

  “James, that is enough. You can fiddle with those, whatever they are, and talk at the same time. Mel needs to know things before the hearing and you are the best one to tell him,” Seth snapped. His usual calm, commanding voice gave way to irritation and impatience. James found it amusing, though he kept that to himself.

  With one last adjustment to the ring and bracelet on his right thumb, he finally looked up and met Seth’s exasperated gaze. He raised his hands up to show off the rings he now wore, and explained, “These are my new splints, Seth. This is what Victor’s kicking and stomping did. He damaged my joints and since I’m an artist, that’s kind of a big deal for me. Now, I will answer what I can, but please, don’t push if I say I don’t know or can’t tell you something.”

  Seth stilled and looked horror-struck. “You mean it’s not just something you can heal from? Those don’t look temporary, baby.”

  “They aren’t. You never asked me why I use the forearm crutches. If you had, you would, maybe, understand that his attack was not just a little assault and battery—as if there was such a thing—but that he could have destroyed who and what I am, easily.” James paused, afraid to talk, but knew he had to continue.

  “James,” Mel interrupted. “You can give Seth the long version later. Right now, I need the short one. Did you attack him? Does he know the dangers of whatever your condition is? What prompted his attack? And, can you provide me with any legal proof of his past actions? That’s what we need to concentrate on, for now.” He seemed so calm, it was almost comical compared to Seth’s loss of composure.

  “No. Yes. Seth getting him fired. And yes, in the files in my desk in the study,” James answered. He knew it would likely irk them both, but he couldn’t resist.

  “James,” Mel grumbled. “A little more detail would be helpful,” he said, though James saw the smile he tried to hide.

  “Fine. Yes, he knows. Early in our relationship he even went with me to the geneticist. I have a genetic disorder called EDS or Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It means the stuff that holds my joints together doesn’t work right, amongst other things. There’s a lot more to it, but for now, that should help you understand. It also means that when the joints are damaged they don’t bounce back like a healthy person’s does.

  “The wreck he caused a few years ago nearly killed me and thanks to all the damage to my hips, knees, and pelvic structure, I use the crutches. The specialists thought I would be in the wheelchair permanently, but I refused to be defeated by that monster or their pessimism.

  “What he did last Friday could have ended up with me losing my art and ability to walk even with the crutches. My fingers won’t ever recover completely. These splints will help stop them from overextending and dislocating, though.

  “As to proof.” He feared what Seth would think and do. James left the room for a moment, bringing back a large tote filled with files and photos.

  After he handed the tote to Mel, he looked back to Seth for the first time and explained. “I had to get a restraining order against him. I still have everything from that hearing. You should be able to pull the police records from when they removed him from my old apartment. There were a number of 911 calls throughout the years, but I never pressed charges until near the end when—” He choked on memories and couldn’t continue.

  “Shh, baby,” Seth said, wrapped his arms around James, and tried to loan him some strength and support. “Mel, that has to be enough to show James is the victim, and not the aggressor. Well, between that and the firsthand witness accounts the officers mentioned.”

  Seth held him tightly, making him feel safe. James couldn’t understand the strange sensations Seth brought about within him, not with his assumptions about Seth’s previous relationships. He was still a little fixated on Seth’s use of the word “submissive” and what he believed it meant. What Victor had said it meant.

  “I pulled the records before, so, yes, I should be able to wrap this up. This is beyond just a bar fight. Considering their history and the restraining order, Mr. d’Leone is in contempt no matter who threw the first punch.”

  “I will call you later with an update. Seth.” Mel paused, gave Seth a strange look, one James couldn’t understand, then turned and left. No good-bye, nothing.

  “Well, that was abrupt. Did I do something to upset your friend?” James asked.

  Seth pulled James up and nudged the crutches into his hands. “No. Maybe one day he will tell you the story behind his behavior. Come sit with me, baby.”

  Seth led him back into his bedroom, and once they were settled against the headboard, Seth picked up one of James’s hands and played with the new rings a little. “From the top, it just looks like you’re really into rings,” he noted.

  “That’s the point, Seth. I don’t want to look broken. The crutches are bad enough, but the therapist said this was best if I wanted to keep drawing, painting, and all. Please tell me you don’t care.” The night before had meant so much to him. Not the sex part, though that had been wonderful, but the fact that Seth had come back early simply because James had been hurt. That brought him to tears once he had gotten over being pissed off at the self-righteous, arrogant, perfect man.

  “Oh, I care, but not in the way you’re worried about, pet. I care that someone hurt you. I care that you fear I would do the same. But I don’t care about or respect you any less because of what you told us. You are even more amazing than I had thought.”

  AFTER work that evening, James eagerly anticipated his dinner out. He had insisted that he did, in fact, need to meet with Sandy at the new hotel site. Seth had consented to his work demand but commanded that he not tire himself out too much, as he had decided where they would go for the dinner he’d promised before his trip.

  He showered, then headed into his closet to figure out what he should wear. Seth always looked so perfect. However, he didn’t have to look long. A long garment bag hung inside, prominently displayed, with a note attached.

  For this evening, pet.

  S

  He carefully brought it to the bed where he could check out what was inside. Soft, slate gray dress slacks and a deep indigo silk shirt. There were even socks and a belt to match in the bottom of the bag.

  He struggled with the idea of Seth giving him things, not because of the difference in social status between them, but because he did not want Seth to see him as a charity case. But the clothes were hot, and he knew Seth would be pleased if he wore them. James still worried about his use of the word submissive, scared that Seth was going to turn into someone he was unable to be with, but he couldn’t bring himself to back away either.

  Once dressed, he waited in the great room for Seth to arrive. He tried to read, but had given up after reading the same page about three times with no idea what it had said. T.V.? No point. Television never held his attention to begin with. He only had the blasted thing for when he needed to follow the news or weather, though he usually used his laptop or cell. He was about to grab a sketchbook when he heard a car pull up outside. He got up and hurried to the door. He knew Seth walked faster than he could, and didn’t want to make him wait.

  Opening the door, he was met with Seth dresse
d almost identically, but for him it seemed oddly casual. The burgundy top made his eyes seem even more vivid than usual. His lips quirked with a smile as he reached out and wrapped his warm arms around James’s waist. “Are you going to just stand there and stare at me, or are you ready to go?”

  “No, I’m ready,” James said. As ready as I’m ever going to be.

  “Good. First, we eat then we will head over to Britt’s gallery. She called and asked to see you.” Seth led him to the Audi A7 he had seen once before, and held the door open for him. James had started to reach for the handle, but Seth’s rigid body and stern demeanor let him know that he would tend to the door. He opened the door and left James with no option but to sit, which he did.

  Once Seth was seated and buckled in, James cleared his throat and spoke. “You do know I can open doors and such myself, right? I’m really not an invalid.”

  “It has nothing to do with your ability to do such things, James. It is my pleasure to care for you, and it is yours to allow yourself to be cared for and protected. I explained this to you before, baby. Now, your only job tonight it to have fun with me.” Seth seemed so calm and sure of himself that it was hard to disagree with him.

  “Seth?” James asked quietly, unsure how to ask what he needed. Afraid to hear the possible answer even more.

  “Yes, pet.”

  “You do realize I’m not a girl, a poodle, or a cripple, right? Please don’t be angry, but—”

  With a laugh, Seth cut him off. “A poodle? Really? No, James, I do not think you are any of those things. Nor do I see you as a punching bag or as mindless decoration. I don’t know what you are used to, other than your one ex.” Seth paused, seemingly to rein in his anger, before he continued. “Did your parents never teach you how to be a gentleman? I see you do for others but oddly, you seem to take the same respect given as an insult. Why?”

  The “why” was asked as if it was a question, but he knew it was actually a demand. A demand that went straight to his cock. Shifting in his seat, he tried to ignore the command, doubtful of Seth’s ability to understand.

  “James, I dislike repeating myself. Please answer the question,” Seth insisted, his voice a combination of steel and honey.

  “A proper gentleman holds the door for a woman, the elderly, or a child to show respect and to assist as they are weaker and need more care than a man,” James quoted as if reading off a card.

  Seth jerked beside him. Glancing at James, he continued to the restaurant. “Yes and no, baby. It’s an act of common courtesy and respect, not one of degradation. As for being weaker, when you meet my mother, I would suggest you never suggest she is weak because she is a woman, not if you plan to keep all your parts in working order.”

  “Oh,” James mumbled. He had never dated much. Victor had been his second boyfriend, and as bad as he was, he wanted to think of his first even less. Other than that, all he had to go on was his mother and her insistence that such things were degrading to women.

  “It’s about natural reciprocity, James. We each do things for the other that makes life better. We haven’t discussed rules or limits yet, though I suppose that is a lapse in my judgment.”

  “I didn’t mean to make you unhappy, Seth. I guess I’m just not used to how you do things,” he explained quietly.

  “Then let me make this part easy for you. I expect you to enjoy yourself when you are with me, and that includes allowing me the pleasure of caring for you. When out to dinner or something similar, that will include me opening doors and ordering for you as I did the first time I took you out. Can you handle that?”

  “Yes. It will take some getting used to, but I appreciate that you want to care for me.” It still felt weird to him, but with how Seth had explained everything, it seemed rude and ungrateful to not agree.

  Before long, they pulled up to a small Indian restaurant, where Seth proceeded to come around and open his door again, and waited for him to stand before closing the door.

  James felt a strong hand rest lightly on the small of his back when they entered the restaurant. It felt comfortable, like how holding hands had once seemed to him.

  Once seated, Seth looked him over again. “Is there anything you do not like? While I expect you to abide by our discussion in the car, I do not wish to order you something you either don’t want or cannot have.”

  “I prefer the seafood or vegetarian dishes and only up to about a five or six on the heat. Thank you,” he answered. He watched as his date—it felt odd thinking of being out on a date—then looked over the menu for a few minutes. He was glad for the lull in conversation and attention, though he didn’t actually believe Seth was not always aware of what was happening around him.

  He had been a young boy the last time someone had ordered for him, well, except for times like when he was in the hospital, of course. The only time people usually held doors for him was always accompanied by words or looks that made him feel like less of a man. Seth didn’t make him feel that way. He knew Chase and a few of his friends would balk at the way Seth took over, like with the clothing, but he kind of liked that he didn’t have to worry about if Seth would like this or that.

  Their order taken, Seth returned his attention to James. “What has you so focused?” he asked gently.

  “Just lost in thought.”

  “James, I know that look already. Your hands keep twitching, so share,” Seth corrected.

  “You’ll think it’s stupid,” he explained. At the arched brow and slight frown, James quickly spoke again. “I was just thinking how I kind of liked not having to make the decisions. And, um, that made me think of when I was little and how my Pops, my dad’s dad, always did things like order for Gram and hold her door, which led to me designing in my head. It’s just, well, it’s just how my mind jumps. I wasn’t ignoring you, I swear.”

  He couldn’t help how his mind worked or what would inspire him, though he often wished he could. He hadn’t meant to zone out on Seth.

  “Calm down, baby,” Seth soothed. “I love watching you design, almost as much as watching you sleep. In both cases, I get to see the real you, not the one you present to the world. Would you like your bag brought in, so you can sketch while we wait? I won’t mind.”

  James couldn’t believe that Seth really meant it, that it was okay with him to let his muse take over when he should be focusing on him. “It… it’s okay, Seth. I’ll pay better attention.”

  “Obviously not or you would have said, ‘Yes’, with or without sir attached,” he said, obviously teasing James. Without another word he stood, setting his napkin beside his spot, and excused himself. James watched Seth head back out the front door, a little confused as he hadn’t brought his backpack with him. Where’s he going? he wondered.

  Feeling eyes on him, James looked up. He had assumed it was Seth returning, but the eyes that met his were a hard, sparking green. Eyes he hadn’t seen since, well, he didn’t want to remember the last time he had been near Tyler.

  He swallowed, hoping to keep the automatic tremble out of his voice. “H-hi, Tyler. Wh-what are you doing here?” Go away, go away, go away, please, he internally begged.

  “I’m in town for the week, training conference. Funny running into you here,” Tyler said, sitting down in Seth’s chair. “And here I thought I’d be bored.”

  “Ty, please. That’s Seth’s seat you’re in.” After clearing his throat, he tried to speak louder. “You need to get up before he returns, Tyler.”

  Ignoring him, as he always had, the other ghost from his past gave him a grin. It was probably supposed to be charming; instead it made James cringe slightly and wish he were anywhere but there. “Guy can’t bother to stay, he must not be overly interested. Not that I can blame him. You never were good for much, well, outside the bedroom anyway.

  “Speaking of which, come on. Your lips can keep me company for a while,” Tyler continued as he grabbed James’s wrist, digging the bracelet that went to his silver thumb ring into his flesh.
It was the same wrist Victor had kicked and stomped. A cry slipped out as the pain shot up his arm when Tyler twisted slightly.

  Suddenly, Seth was there, hand over Tyler’s, stopping him mid-twist.

  “Let go of him,” Seth snapped, his voice colder than James had ever heard before. He could feel Tyler try to twist free, but Seth didn’t let go.

  “Whatever, man. Lousy piece of ass anyway,” Tyler said, and finally released his vise grip on James’s arm.

  The next few minutes passed in a hollow blur. He knew Seth had Tyler removed, he heard that much, but he couldn’t seem to focus. His two worst nightmares had come back to haunt him. Maybe his little brother could show up and make his hell complete.

  “James.” Seth’s voice intruded on his internal freak-out. “Come on, we’re leaving.” He then noticed Seth had a to-go bag in one hand and his crutches in the other. Numbly, he got to his feet and followed Seth back out to the car.

  “COME on, baby. We’re going up to my place,” Seth murmured as he gently caressed James’s cheek. It was only when touched that he noticed they were stopped, well, parked more specifically, at some fancy condo.

  Chapter 7

  “MEL, I’m telling you that this is beyond just him having a couple of bullies for exes. Once I made his ex, Tyler, release his bruising grip on James, he didn’t speak again until I demanded he respond once we were in my condo,” Seth explained as he paced the floor in Mel’s office, a tumbler of whiskey in his hand. The previous night had been a long one, filled with painful stories from James’s past, a pain that Seth wasn’t sure he could fix. “And once he did start, he spent most of the time talking, in tears curled up against my chest. He’s terrified I will judge him because of his past, a past he didn’t choose. I don’t know what to do.”